Blue Monday's Daring Blog

Blue Monday's Daring Blog

Teacher's Pet

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1538
About a month later, after I’d given up any hope of hearing from the business woman - my boss - ever again, a letter arrived. Typed as before and with specific instructions. I was to meet her on a specific day the following week at her flat, again at 4pm. I replied trying to sound cool and not like a gibbering, infantile, exultant school boy and arrangements were confirmed by post. I was again to be ‘discrete’……

As before she was mesmerising, beautiful and horny….and in charge. We sat on the same sofa and a similar seduction of the innocent took place. This time I was slightly more confident and didn’t fluff my lines. There was no over-excitement and my performance seemed to satisfy her. Literally. Her constant encouragement and very specific ... [more]

The Graduate

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1451
The letter was typed and quite formal. A professional lady liked my letter and wanted to meet me (no mention of the over-excited photo). By a very happy and quirky coincidence she lived on the outskirts of the very same London suburb as my university. Don’t you just love fate? I had to read the letter several (many) times to believe it was true. It was. Someone who was feminine wanted to check me out and get physical. My exultation was palpable. I took the letter with me while I visited a range of confectionery establishments in Purley and read it every 30 minutes just to convince myself that I wasn’t in the third dimension. I wasn’t. My sales that day were well below average. My heart rate and libido were well above.

It was that evening, as the initial excitement waned ... [more]

Gift Horse

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1394
Although slightly ashamed of the encounter with the voracious, large lady in Victoria there was part of me that felt awakened. I had felt no physical attraction whatsoever, but the excitement of the whole situation, the illicit nature of the contact and her sheer unabandoned and insatiable desire had left me feeling fulfilled and, on reflection, aroused. I imagined what it might be like to find the same unfettered enthusiasm from someone that I was attracted to. Was this possible or were the two mutually exclusive? Maybe overweight and unattractive ladies in mid-life when faced with young, fresh, virile and willing male debutants had less to lose than young, pretty head-turners. Maybe this occurrence was so rare for them that they literally ate their prey for breakfast (lunch and dinner) i ... [more]

Learning Curves

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The night arrived. I was nervous, but reinforced by a considerable surplus of irrepressible, youthful adrenalin. I had absolutely no idea what to say or do. I just trusted my intuition. It’s called a learning curve. Sometimes steep. Mont Ventoux. Sometimes you have to stop riding, get off your bike and push it to the summit in order to learn your lesson. But this was biology, physics and chemistry all rolled into one and I was useless at science.

Heart-in-mouth occasions don’t happen that often in life. But ringing that doorbell for a flat that transpired to be above an off-licence in a non-descript street in London, SW3, was definitely one of those moments. Did anyone live there? Would they have any idea who I was? Who were they? Would they like me? What was I doing…& ... [more]

The Royal Male

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1032
The night arrived. I was nervous, but reinforced by a considerable surplus of irrepressible, youthful adrenalin. I had absolutely no idea what to say or do. I just trusted my intuition. It’s called a learning curve. Sometimes steep. Mont Ventoux. Sometimes you have to stop riding, get off your bike and push it to the summit in order to learn your lesson. But this was biology, physics and chemistry all rolled into one and I was useless at science.

Heart-in-mouth occasions don’t happen that often in life. But ringing that doorbell for a flat that transpired to be above an off-licence in a non-descript street in London, SW3, was definitely one of those moments. Did anyone live there? Would they have any idea who I was? Who were they? Would they like me? What was I doing…& ... [more]

The Witness Programme

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1203
We all remember our ‘first time’. I don’t. I do remember going to Brighton with a group of friends during a school weekend exeat towards the end of my final term. What happened next remains fuzzy. What I do remember was queueing outside a rather sleazy doorway and, when it was my turn, being welcomed by a nice lady. I’m not sure how much I paid, can’t have been much because if I was being charged by the minute I probably saved a fortune. I came exactly on time. Seconds not minutes. Frugal. All I can remember is that I wasn’t proud of the experience or the performance. But it was done.

I also remember that, in my last year at school, while magazines provided great solace I developed a need to see moving pictures. Some action. How was it done? What were ... [more]

The School Library

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1269
My last year at school passed rewardingly. I was a school prefect which means I had respect. I was well-regarded, played sport at a high level and secured good exam results. Everything was rosy. Well not everything. The school decided to pretend to move with the times and let girls join the sixth form. I watched my best friends move in for the kill. They all had dark hair, beautiful skin and were charismatic, witty and were fuelled by late-teenage testosterone. At the very peak of adolescent, masculine irresistibility. Burgeoning confidence, imminent manhood. Right time, right place.

I had acne and blonde hair. Wrong time, wrong place. They got the girls. I watched with untold envy.

The only compensation was that my illicit appointments with beautiful, shapely, scantily-clad girls cont ... [more]

The Colour Purple

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1307
It began to sink in that a phone call carried too much risk. My inability to speak into a telephone was seriously jeopardising my chances of making the required impression. This called for extreme measures. Stalking.

What if we met by complete accident during the course of a normal day? A pre-planned coincidence. It was a masterful plan. The local phone directory was very helpful in providing the address I needed and I went to work. The trouble was that her bungalow was not blessed with camouflage. No bushes, no undergrowth, nowhere for a spy to loiter with invisibility. In fact the whole operation had to be conducted at the end of the road from behind a red post box. My alibi was flimsy and the postman was suspicious. I relied on fate. But fate had other ideas.

After a week of almost ... [more]

Love Hurts

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1425
The trouble with puppy love is that it runs away with all reason. When it’s the very first time that you’ve been pierced by Cupid’s arrow it sprints. To say my judgment was clouded was like saying that the world’s being affected by global warming. It’s only a smidgen of the truth.

I was besotted. It interfered with my appetite, my sleep, my emotional incontinence. Even my dating schedule in the lavatory was thrown into turmoil. I had new material to process. She kissed me. Correction she snogged me. Lips, tongues and a full-on erection. Vis a vis she likes me. Clearly finds me rather attractive. Correction she fancies me. In fact she probably loves me. Clearly full-on snogging with absolutely no chat lines, or in fact any conversation whatsoever, can only me ... [more]

Je t’aime

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1066
While I was more than happy accumulating a catalogue of chromatic lovers real life was surprisingly about to deliver a formative and life-altering experience. At first it seemed like exactly what I needed. Little did I know how it was going to affect my emotional development. What seemed so right became so wrong.

I must have had some respite from my acne. Temporarily. Little did I know that what was about to happen would stimulate my endorphins to deliver another five years of dysfunctional disfigurement and enforced solitude. My late teenage hormones were raging and fate was about to deliver some respite from dating busty blondes in the upstairs lavatory.

I was a tennis player. Not strictly true I hit tennis balls over a net (sometimes). To improve my skillset and enhance my burgeonin ... [more]

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