05-December-2016

The Confessor - The Erotic Blog

After two years of being a brand manager for an international confectionery company the novelty was wearing thin.  Selecting the best centres for boxes of chocolates for sale in Nigeria was beginning to lose its appeal.  Nougat, montelimar, marzipan, nut brittle, coffee cream or toffee surprise?  A tough choice, but not one that I had the patience for any more.  I felt the need to spread my wings and see the world; a restless soul.  I wanted change, to expand my horizons and set myself free.  

I resigned and embarked on a life-changing trip to Australia.  Having an Australian parent made the choice easy.  It meant that half of my family lived Down Under and were very welcoming.  A long way to go, but an easy transition.  For the first time in my life I could be who I wanted to be.  I had no reputation, no track record and could be me.  No one judging me based on perceived shortcomings or teenage misdemeanours.  I was free as a bird and suddenly my own boss.  I didn’t know it but the next 18 months was to change me from a boy to a man who could stand on his own two feet, be who he wanted to be and cope.

Many wonderful things happened.  I loved Sydney.  The beaches, the endless outdoors, the turquoise blue sky and the unconditional hospitality and kindness of the natives.  I was boundlessly happy.  I found a sales job that paid me cash at the end of every week and I was good at it.  I learned to ski, to windsurf and to dive.  I felt alive and enriched.  I also met lovely people.  Lots of girls, but no serious girlfriend.  Some things change and some never do.  Leopards and spots.

I spent 15 months in Australia and loved every moment.  I wanted to stay but something deep in my soul told me that my roots were too far away.  It felt like a distant nirvana too removed from my upbringing.  I put it on a pedestal and found myself unable to believe that I could forge a real life in such a paradise.  Also, somewhere deep inside me, in an almost imperceptible place, I found it slightly lacking in the sophisticated cultural kaleidoscope offered by my homeland.  It was a massively difficult and painful choice.  One that made me unsettled for many, many years.  

I tricked myself by making the journey home so enticing that wrenching myself away became fleetingly feasible.  Overland across Australia by bus, stopping off wherever I found anything of interest and going at my own pace.  My only restriction was the date of a flight from Perth to Singapore, several weeks hence.  I fell in love with Australia’s desolate Outback and had many adventures.  Every day was a wonder and I was never to feel as free or as nurtured ever again.

I cried as the plane took off from Perth.  It felt like saying a terminal goodbye to the love of your life.  Total desolation.  But I didn’t have time to dwell as I had a week in Singapore followed by a train journey winding up through the entire length of Malaysia to Bangkok.  28 hours of exotic rail travel only interrupted halfway by a much deserved three day break on the equatorial island of Penang.  Batu Ferringhi to be precise.  Home of a few luxury hotels in the embrace of tropical paradise.  Never have I felt more like Robinson Crusoe, but with a swimming pool.  Deserted beaches fringed with swaying palm trees.  The type of place where unimaginable dreams come true.  

However much I pinch myself, what happened next remains unforgettable….even 30 years later it seems unimaginable.  Many people will believe it to be a young man’s testosterone enhanced fantasy.  Perhaps induced by 18 months of chastity.  Or too much tropical sun.  Neither.  It definitely happened.  I was there……..

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